


Obvious

by psychoticfire



Category: Dear Evan Hansen - Pasek & Paul/Levenson
Genre: Artist Connor Murphy (Dear Evan Hansen), Friends to Lovers, Gay, M/M, Mutual Pining, Singing, Soft Connor Murphy (kind of), Songwriter Evan Hansen, Talent Shows, at least not as edgy and stuff
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-11-17
Updated: 2018-11-17
Packaged: 2019-08-24 22:11:33
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 7,033
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16648793
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/psychoticfire/pseuds/psychoticfire
Summary: When Jared informs Evan and Connor of a school-hosted variety show, the former shrugs off the idea. But when he realizes how deep he is in his gay crisis, Evan decides to perform a self-written song- in an attempt to subtly confess to Connor- and gets Jared to help him out.Alternatively: No One Knew Jared Kleinman Played Piano But Okay Then





	Obvious

**Author's Note:**

> been inactive for a while but i'm back babey! gonna start on those smut requests but in the meantime, take this fluffy oneshot that i've been working on ever since the deluxe album (slight disappointment) came out.
> 
> song? obvious, sung by one (1) taylor trensch  
> (if you want, search it up and start playing it when evan finishes his announcement onstage)

“Yo, Ev!”

Evan turned at the sound of his name, Connor next to him pausing what he was saying as Jared bounded up to walk next to them. “Hey, Jare.”

“What do you want?” Connor's tone was half joking, although he was still a bit nonplussed. He'd been talking to Evan, for God's sake.

“And a good afternoon to you too, Con-man,” Jared said, grinning. He seemed in a good mood- which was happening more and more frequently these days. A few months ago, he and Evan were still on distant 'family friend’ terms, and neither of them had exchanged more than five words with Connor. Jared had been sullen and quiet, and when he smiled, it was usually a bitter mockery.

But that all changed drastically- and now, Jared and Evan hung out on a daily basis with Connor Murphy, and Evan could confidently say that Jared was, in fact, his closest friend, who laughed on a daily basis.

As for Connor… Evan bit his lip. He'd been trying to avoid thinking of this particular topic for weeks now. He was close friends with Connor, of course, but a few weeks ago, he came to the conclusion that the attraction he felt towards Connor was more than friendly.

It might have been the first time he heard Connor laugh- really laugh, at one of Evan's rare jokes while the two of them were hanging out at Jared’s. His head had been thrown back, his long hair coming loose from its ponytail- Evan had never had any particular artistic talent, but in that moment, he’d wanted to grab a pencil and draw the image.

Or it might’ve been the time Connor had showed him his sketchbook- the first time Evan had ever see Connor Murphy become shy and sheepish, as Evan thumbed through the smudged pages. There were small studies of various plants, hasty sketches of trees- which Evan had  _ loved _ \- and detailed linearts of random objects.

Maybe he’d known when Connor had showed up to school on the first day of pride month, a rainbow patch sewn to his hoodie and flags sticking out the side of his bag. He’d completely ignored the stares, the murmurs, and beelined directly for Jared and Evan. When Jared had made to comment, Connor had stuck a pride sticker on his mouth.

So, yeah. There were plenty of reasons why Evan Hansen might like Connor Murphy more than as a friend. Way more, in all honesty.

“Hello? Earth to acorn?” Jared snapped his fingers in front of Evan and the latter blinked. “Where’s your mind these days? La La Land?”

“The Twilight Zone,” Connor mumbled.

“Wha- no, nothing,” Evan stammered. “I was just… thinking.”

“Sure.” Jared gave his friend a look of pure doubt. “Anyway. You two hear about the variety show thing?”

“Yo- you mean a talent show?” Evan asked.

“Yeah, basically, but they’re calling it a variety show because they want to make people feel better,” Jared said. “Even if it’s not a talent of yours,  you can do it, and it’s a ‘varied skill’, or something.”

“Your point?” Connor shifted his bag so it wasn’t digging into his shoulder as much.

“You two gonna do anything?” Jared asked.

Evan paused. A variety show- his anxiety squirmed at the idea of it. “God, no thanks.”

“Unless they count the ability to stand up sleeping a skill to show, no,” Connor said for himself.

“Cowards,” Jared teased.

“What, are you doing something for the show?” Evan asked.

“I never said I wasn't a coward.”

Connor snorted. “I think Zoe's doing something with the ukulele. She's been practicing a song, I think. Something she wrote on her own.”

An year ago, if Evan had heard this, he might have been surprised and excited- but now, he had a crush on someone else. Although a song…

An idea began forming in his mind. Not a lot of people knew that he played guitar- actually, he'd started because of Zoe, but had kept with it because he was surprisingly good at it- and even less people knew that he sang, and wrote his own songs.

Maybe he  _ could _ do something. For both the variety show, and his hopeless crush.

A few hours later, Evan was hunched over his guitar, sitting on his bed and tuning the strings. It'd been awhile since he'd played, but he was fairly certain that he remembered the basics.

He strummed the instrument experimentally, and the resounding note was clear, soothing. Evan smiled to himself a bit as he coaxed out a couple more sounds-  _ this might just work. _

He glanced over at his laptop, at the old file he'd dug out of his scattered folders. At the sheet music, the notes, and the song printed clearly on the screen. For a second, he wavered- should he go through with his plan?

The music, the song, had originally been written for Zoe, when he was still pining over her. It was a bit of a love song, if one read deeper into the lyrics. If Evan rewrote a few lines, it could potentially fit what he wanted.

He took a deep breath. _ What did he have to lose, anyway? _

Evan pressed play on the computer, and the music drifted out from the small speakers on the side of the laptop, a few calming guitar notes starting it off. He hummed the lyrics to himself as the music played- it was, if Evan was being completely honest, a considerably good tune.

The only catch was that it had a piano in the background, when the guitar chords were silent. Frowning, Evan scrolled through the music- at least the piano notes were fairly easy, nothing too complex.

He picked up his phone and texted Jared.

_ Evan: Hey, Jared, you played the piano, right? _

The response came fast.

_ Jared: ‘Played’ being the keyword. But yeah. _

_ Jared: What's up? _

_ Evan: I'm thinking of doing something for the variety show. _

_ Jared: KNEW IT. CALLED IT. _

_ Jared: What act? _

_ Evan: Um. Guitar and singing. _

_ Jared: Damn, never knew you could do that. _

_ Jared: So what do you need piano for? _

_ Evan: The music I wrote a while ago includes piano and it's pretty important for the tone of the song. _

_ Jared: You WROTE the song? _

_ Jared: You've been holding out on me, Hansen. _

_ Jared: I'll be over in five. Show me then. _

_ Evan: Okay. Thanks _

Evan put his phone down, and gazed back to the sheet music. He shifted the guitar, and tried out a few notes, testing what he remembered.

“When we know something is true beyond question or doubt…” Evan's voice was shaky, but he held the key, even as it lowered. He'd written it for his own vocal range, after all. “There's no... particular point, in pointing it out.”

His fingers strummed the guitar as he sang, sometimes a bit off-beat, but mostly decent.

“Blue is the color of sky,” he continued, his voice steadying a bit more and his tempo stabilizing. “'Cause all mothers worry, and… old people die.

“A phone rings, a bee stings, it's something you don't need to hear…” Evan's voice rose a bit on the last word, pitch lifting. His hands slipped a bit on the strings, but he quickly adjusted his guitar again. “It's just… clear.”

His voice swelled on 'clear’, but before he could continue the song, someone rang the doorbell and he slipped, cursing. Evan set the guitar down and paused the music, heading out his bedroom door and opening the front door, revealing a very smug Jared Kleinman.

“Give me the tea. Is it a breakup song? An emo song?” he demanded, and Evan snorted.

“Do I look like the type of person to write an emo song?” he asked. Jared shrugged.

“You never know with the emos.” He stepped into Evan's house and grinned, wiggling his eyebrows. “So, what's the song about?”

“Nothing,” Evan lied, answering a bit too fast. “It's just, um, a song that I wrote before, and I found a few hours ago-”

“Is it a love song?” Jared interrupted. Evan didn't answer, and the other boy's eyes widened. “Oh my God, it  _ is _ .”

“No! It- no, it isn't,” Evan tried, but it was a lost case.

“Is it for Zoe?” Jared thought about it. “Nah, you got over her months ago.”

“How did you-”

“I'm observant, Acorn.” Jared mused for a second, before pausing. “Oh. My. God.”

Evan was getting sweaty. “Wh- what?”

“It's for Connor, isn't it?” Jared proclaimed loudly.

“What? No!” Evan lied.

“You're a terrible liar, Evan Hansen,” Jared said, his grin wide. “I  _ knew _ you had a crush on him!”

“I don't-”

“Boy, my gaydar has been going off ever since you and Con-boy started talking. I assumed it was Connor, and was correct- he's as straight as a circle. But you- I always had my suspicions.”

Evan sighed in defeat, pushing his hair back. “I- I'm bi,” he admitted.

“Well then, welcome to the club of homosexuals!” Jared slung an arm around Evan's shoulders, and led the way up the stairs. “If you'd said the song was for Connor sooner, I'd have baked a celebratory cake.”

“Stop it,” Evan mumbled, but he was smiling.

They reached Evan's room, and Jared's eyebrows lifted at the sight of the guitar. “Damn, you weren't kidding.”

“O- of course not,” Evan defended as he sat down again on his bed. Jared slid his desk chair over, slinging a leg over the back and resting his head on his arm.

“Well then,” Jared said, motioning to the guitar and Evan. “Sing for us, Acorn.”

“I- I have to change some lyrics,” Evan muttered. “This was, uh, originally meant for Zoe.”

“Of course it was. Seems fitting that you now use it for her brother.”

“Jared!”

“Kidding!” Jared yelped as Evan punched him in the shoulder. He paused. “Mostly.”

“Just… give me a few minutes.”

After the few said minutes, during which Evan typed frantically and Jared managed to make the guitar sound like a dying cat, the former sat back and reached for the guitar.

“Okay,” Evan said, mostly to himself. Then, to Jared- “Don't laugh, okay?”

Jared put a hand over his chest, feigning shock. “Me? Laugh? Never.”

“I mean it,” Evan warned, before pressing play on the music and restarting the song. His voice, again, started off shaky and unsure, even more so because Jared was there, but it eventually steadied and continued on strong. His fingers slipped up twice on the strings, but Jared- to his credit- acted like he didn't notice.

When he finished, four or so minutes later, Jared was staring at him. Evan bit his lip. “Was it- was it that bad?”

“Dude.” Jared's gaze was wide. “I want you performing at my wedding.”

Evan laughed, but quieted when he saw that his friend wasn't kidding. “O- oh. Um. Thanks?”

“You sure you want me in on this? Because I'll fuck it up,” Jared said, laughing nervously. “God, dude. I really never knew.”

“It- um, almost no one knew. Only me and my mom. Because, uh, she lived with me.”

“Right.” Jared glanced at the sheet music. “That song, though. Those lyrics.”

“Yeah? Wh- what about them?”

Jared met Evan's eyes. “It was so incredibly gay.”

Evan snorted. “That's what I'm going for, I guess.”

“I call best man at the wedding.”

“Shut up,” Evan grumbled, but elbowed Jared goodnaturedly. “So… do you- can you help?”

Jared rubbed his hands together. “Show me what to do, Ev.”

\------

The two of them spent the following week practicing. Jared owned an electronic keyboard, which they used for the piano chords. Evan would bring his guitar along to Jared's place- which was right next to his, so everything was actually going fairly smoothly.

Connor was also busy- mostly with the art decorations for the show, since he was in the club for graphic design, and they had to put up some banners and shit for the event. It was good news for Evan and Jared, though- they didn't need to explain why they couldn't hang out as frequently.

Each afternoon, Jared would urge Evan to sing more, to get used to the lyrics and tempo. He was relentless, and yet it warmed Evan's heart- this was the first time Jared had ever shown unwavering support for something Evan did; the first time Jared truly treated him like a best friend.

So he practiced- not only for Connor, but for Jared as well. He practiced for the boy he was pining after, and the friend he was thankful for.

One particular afternoon, after the two of them had run through the song three times, Jared had ordered pizza. They chilled in his room, just simply relaxing- chatting, and laughing together over greasy food and soda.

“So, what would your ship name be? Convan?” Jared paused, and shook his head. “Sounds like some shitty sports brand. Tree bros. Wait, no- tree  _ hoes. _ ”

Evan nearly choked on his pizza. “We- why- no ship names! It's probably never gonna happen anyway.”

“Please. I've seen how the dude looks at you. And how you look at him,” Jared added. “I've practically been third-wheeling for weeks now.”

Evan winced. “Sorry?”

“It's hilarious,” Jared assured him. “I've got an ongoing bet with Zoe about who's gonna ask who out first.”

“You've got a  _ what _ ?”

“You heard me.” Jared shot him a grin.

Evan shook his head. “Oh my God.”

“I'm betting on Connor and she's betting on you,” Jared informed him. “The loser has to wear thigh high socks for a week.”

“Is that incentive for me to ask Connor out first or…”

“Take it as you will, Hansen.”

Evan laughed, shoving Jared lightly. They sat in silence for a few moments, Evan gulping down a mouthful of soda while Jared picked the pineapple out of the pizza slices.

“Hey, Jare?”

“Uh huh?” Jared looked at Evan, pizza halfway to his open mouth. “Yes?”

Evan bit his lip. “Thanks. For… for all this.”

He didn't just mean the pizza and the help with his song- and Jared knew. He set his slice down and fidgeted with a spare napkin, quiet for a moment.

“Thanks to you for putting up with me,” Jared said quietly. “Even after years of my bullshit.”

“You're my best friend,” Evan said, and was secretly smug when Jared didn't shift away. A few months ago, if the former would even mention something about the two of them being moderately close, Jared would have shut the prospect down immediately with a ‘family friends. That’s different’. “Of course I’m sticking with you.”

Jared smiled uncertainly. “Then consider all this an apology. For me being a douche to you, for literally all our lives. Even when you showed up to my bar mitzvah, I was a total dick.”

“But you-”

“Do good, get Connor’s ass, and thank me then.”

Evan hesitated, then nodded. “Okay.”

“Let's run through it one more time?” Jared offered, wiping his hands on his T-shirt.

“Please,” Evan agreed.

\-----

The so-dubbed ‘variety show’ was held on a Friday, much to Evan’s relief- at least if he fucked things up, he’d have the entire weekend to himself to hide under his bed and contemplate all his mistaken life choices.

Attendance was mandatory, but it was one of those rare occasions where the student body would actually  _ want  _ to be there- even backstage, Evan could feel the anticipation of the audience.

It was, quite frankly, terrifying.

He swallowed, the guitar strap slung over his shoulder chafing slightly, even as he shifted it. Evan wiped his sweaty palms on his black T-shirt- he’d decided to dress simple- and headed off to find Jared.

His friend was checking his phone, looking considerably less nervous than Evan was. “Con texted us,” Jared announced without looking up. “He’s in the audience and is excited, apparently, to see us perform. Of course, that wasn’t his exact wording, but still.”

When Evan didn’t answer, Jared glanced up at him. “You okay?”

Evan nodded stiffly, mouth dry. “Ye- yeah.”

Jared frowned. “No, you aren’t. Did you take your anxiety meds this morning?”

“Yeah.”

“Did you drink water?”

_ A couple mouthfuls. _ “Yep.”

Jared tossed him a bottle of mineral water. “Trees need to be watered, Ev.”

“A- actually, you don't water the tree, you just moisten the soil around it,” Evan said automatically, but uncapped the bottle and swallowed a few gulps.

Jared snorted. “Moist.”

“You- you ready?” Evan asked.

“Born ready, son,” Jared said, grinning. “Just some simple chords. This baby,” he said, slapping the side of the keyboard next to him, “is gonna do you good.”

“Gr- great. Cool.”

“Zoe's going on after you, so try not to set the bar too high, okay?” Jared smiled.

Evan managed a weak smile back. “O- okay.”

“And next up, seniors Evan Hansen on guitar and vocals, with Jared Kleinman on keyboard,” came from the backstage loudspeaker, and Evan could hear Connor and Alana cheering from through the curtains.

His heart leapt into his throat and he forced himself to breathe. Jared patted him on the back comfortingly, and grabbed his keyboard, stand and all, hauling it outside. Another fresh wave of applause was heard as Jared undoubtedly did some kind of extravagant bow.

Evan took one last deep breath and wiped his sweaty palms on his shirt, walking towards the curtains and emerging onstage. He saw Jared already setting up his keyboard, next to a chair with a microphone propped next to it.

Looking offstage, he couldn't see much- but he glimpsed Connor and Alana sitting in the front rows, the former giving him a thumbs-up and the latter clapping loudly. Evan shot them a shaky smile, and took a seat, adjusting the mic to a more suitable position.

He tapped it twice, the sound echoing through the auditorium. Leaning in, he said into the mic, “Uh, hey.”

Evan winced at how strained his voice sounded. “Um, I'm going to be performing a song I, uh, wrote last year. Jared, on the keyboard, is going to be helping me… fo- for once.”

A few chuckles from the audience. Jared gasped in mock hurt and Evan relaxed a bit.

“This is called Obvious, and it's dedicated to… well, it's dedicated to someone special.” He cut himself off before he rambled on, meeting Connor's gaze for a split second before looking away. “So, um, I hope you- I hope you enjoy it.”

Before he chickened out, Evan glanced over his shoulder at Jared, who quirked a smile and nodded. Evan dipped his head once and his hand moved, strumming out the starting chords.

Jared's melody blended with his, the beats matching perfectly. It was just as they practiced it, and Evan took a deep breath as his cue started.

His voice was steady this time, no hint of strain or nervousness in his tone. No missing beats or going off-key either- Jared's relentless pushing of his vocal practices had paid off.

They got through the first verse without any hiccups, the audience quiet as Evan's soft voice rang out through the microphone, singing the chorus. “Why go stating the obvious? It's so... painfully obvious.”

Jared's piano rose with his voice- he’d claimed that this part was the best of the whole song, because of how the individual notes rang out clear as day as Evan sang, “How could you miss, something that's this plain to see?

“When it's glaring, and staring right at you…” Evan didn't dare to look into the audience, didn't dare let his gaze find Connor's, as he glided his pick over the guitar to sound out a short melancholy note. “So obviously.”

Jared smiled, even though Evan couldn't see him, as his fingers danced over the keys, sounding out a melody that fit perfectly with his best friend's. Evan was exemplary on the guitar, as well- he felt bad that he hadn't known it sooner.

“When you get bored, you sketch plants with their leaves beginning to rise.” This was the part Evan had rewritten- it'd originally contained observations he'd made for Zoe, but now, reprising it with things Connor had shared with him… it really was so much more fitting. “You still tie your hair back even though it falls into your eyes.”

Jared had made a joke about buying Connor hairspray for Christmas. Evan wasn't about to say that he liked it when Connor's hair was a mess- no matter how cute it looked.

“And you laugh like you don't even care,” Evan sang, his cheeks heating as Connor, in the audience, heard him  _ sing _ about his laugh. “Like life could pass you by, but your joy's still there.

“Something courageous, amazing, contagious, and… kind.” Evan's voice was soft and genuine. “All combined.”

Somewhere in the audience, Connor Murphy's eyes stung.

Evan and Jared went through the chorus again, this time with a fuller melody. Neither boy faltered once, and as their song climbed into a bridge to another verse, Evan seemed to gain confidence.

“Sometimes the words we tend to withhold,” Evan sang, “- they're exactly the words, someone needs to be told.”

His voice held the note for a few seconds, before dropping down into a softer tone as he sang, “But I'm thinking they know.”

Jared lightened up on the keyboard, the notes become soft and tentative, blending perfectly with the other’s notes as Evan's fingers plucked at the strings to Jared's music.

“We never say, ‘I love you’,” Evan sang, his voice as gentle as the accompanying melody, “I… love you.”

He finally looked up, into the audience, and his gaze met Connor's. Evan wasn't sure, but Connor's eyes seemed to be rimmed with pink. “I love you,” he continued, the melody climbing, his voice with it, “I love you…”

And suddenly, the piano disappeared, and it was just Evan's soft guitar and his even softer voice. He’d broken his gaze with Connor, but the words were clearly directed. “I love you.”

The piano started up again, and the song led into the final chorus. This time, the recurring verse was softer than the other two, and ended with Evan's gentle voice singing, “So obviously.”

Evan let his hand strum smoothly along the strings, listening to how his guitar notes blended with Jared's keyboard, and finally, ended the song with a final soft chord.

He didn't register the applause until Jared came over and clapped him on the back, shaking him softly in a brief burst of adrenaline. “Dude, you did it!” he yelled, and Evan grinned at him.

“We did it,” he said softly, and Jared hugged him, startling the other boy.

They lugged their equipment back backstage, and hurried out the sidedoor to sneak back into the audience, just in time for Zoe's performance. They'd had to grab a seat in the back rows, so Evan was pretty much just staring at the back of Connor's head in worry the whole time.

Zoe got a standing ovation from Alana, Connor, and Jared. Evan, upon seeing his best friend beside him standing up, had hastily followed his lead and clapped for Zoe. The variety show was over all too soon, and Evan found himself being pushed out the door by Jared, along with a crowd of other highschool students.

“I’m gonna go find Alana,” Jared told Evan, who nodded. “Wait here.”

Evan sagged against a wall, his guitar resting besides him, also propped up. He’d grabbed it as they’d rushed out, not wanting to risk forgetting it backstage. His phone buzzed in his pocket, and hesitantly, he pulled it out.

Five new messages from Connor.

“Oh, god,” Evan mumbled, swiping to read them. A few were from before the show started.

_ Connor: Can’t wait to see you perform! _

_ Connor: and Jared, of course, but don’t tell him that. _

And then-

_ Connor: Evan? _

_ Connor: Your… your song. _

_ Connor: Um. Meet me by the entrance? Like on the steps? _

Evan's throat was dry, but he shakily typed out an “Okay” in response, and headed for the door, guitar slung over his back. On the way, he shot a short explanatory text to Jared, along with a plea for his friend to rescue him if Evan took longer than, oh, ten minutes without following up with a text.

He stepped outside the school doors, scanning the steps ahead of him. No sign of Connor. Evan was just about to text him when someone behind him said, “Hey.”

He whirled, stepping back so his guitar wouldn't hit the other. “Co- Connor! Hey.”

Connor's hair was tied back loosely, his bag hanging at his side, and Evan tried not to stare as his friend neared him. Connor raised an eyebrow. “You seem… nervous.”

“Oh! Wha- what? No, um, I- I'm not nervous, why- ha, why would I be, uh, nervous?” Evan winced at his own words.  _ So much for subtlety, Hansen. _

“I totally believe you right now,” Connor said, sitting down on the top step of the stairs and glancing back at Evan. “Gonna join me?”

Evan sat, shifting his guitar to his front. “So… why the meeting?”

“Well,” his friend said, leaning over to tap Evan’s guitar. “As a first, I liked- I liked your song.”

The blond blushed. “O- okay. Um, thanks.”

“And those were some… very interesting lyrics,” Connor added, absentmindedly combing his fingers through some loose strands of hair that had fallen in his face.

Evan bit his lip. “I- I wrote them.”

Connor quirked a small smile. “Never knew you played the guitar. Or wrote songs. Or sang.”

“Yeah, well…” Evan let his sentence trail off. He didn’t have the heart to tell Connor that he’d lost all interest in singing and writing a long time ago. “I do,” he said lamely.

Connor nodded. “I, um, wanted to show you something. And,” he added quickly, “it might seem weird. And, uh, mildly stalkerish. And-”

“I get it,” Evan said, cutting his friend off and smiling. When Connor got nervous, he started to ramble. It was a trait that both of them shared- along with Jared, albeit his defense mechanism for anxiety was to be a douchebag. “Just show me?”

Connor nodded again, hand going to the bag at his side. He opened it, pulling out a sleek black sketchbook- one of his private ones that he never let anyone see. “I showed you my other sketches, right?” he asked, his eyes not meeting Evan’s as he flipped through the pages carefully, as if checking for final mistakes.

“Ye- yeah,” Evan replied. “The, uh, plants. Whi- which I liked! A lot!”

Connor looked like he was trying to hide a smile. “I- I'm glad you did,” he mumbled, and shut the sketchbook suddenly, holding it out to Evan. He looked jumpy and nervous- even more so than usual. Then again, they were doing their damnedest to try and avoid addressing the elephant in the room. They both had a right to be anxious.

Evan realized that Connor was still holding his sketchbook out and jumped a bit. “Oh! Sorry,” he murmured, accepting it and holding it in his hands for a moment, almost reverently. Then he flipped it open to the first page.

An exact liking of himself stared back- a carefully lined sketch with pencil shading and a lightly colored background of Evan smiling, looking for the world like there was nothing wrong with anything. He… he looked incredibly lifelike.

“Connor, did you- did you draw this?” It was a stupid question, but Evan’s brain wasn’t really functioning at the moment.

Connor shifted in his position. “Yeah.”

Evan turned the page. Another likeness of him was drawn out, next to a quick sketch of a tree. In this one, his head was turned slightly, as if looking at someone else, and his brows were furrowed as if listening intently. “Holy shit,” he breathed. “This looks better than I actually do.”

“Impossible,” Connor muttered, not sure if Evan heard him or not.

Evan continued turning pages, skimming through the paper fast. Each page, there was a new drawing of him- either smiling, concentrating, or caught mid-laugh. “H- how did you draw laughing?” he asked in awe. “That- that lasts like… five seconds, tops?”

“Memory?” Connor offered sheepishly.

Evan gaped at him.  _ “Seriously?” _

His friend shrugged, an easy, fluid movement.

Evan glanced back down at the sketchbook, and turned it over to the last page. It was a detailed drawing of him (with a hasty sketch of Jared on the side)- and it was a scene that he remembered. A few weeks ago, Jared had invited him and Connor over to his place to get ‘absolutely wasted’, courtesy of his parents’ unlocked liquor cabinet.

Originally, Evan had no intention of getting drunk. He’d planned on being the responsible one, maybe caving for just a few sips of beer. But Jared could be very convincing when he wanted to- and the next thing Evan knew, he’d been giggly and red-faced, almost incoherent. Connor had turned out to be the soberest one- not to say that  _ he _ wasn’t beside himself with drunken glee when Jared tripped over the carpet- and apparently, he’d been clear-minded enough to remember the exact moment Jared had told another one of his untasteful jokes, and Evan had burst out in hysterical laughter; the only time in Evan’s recollection that he’d ever laughed in hysterics.

Apparently, he’d looked pretty attractive while doing so, if Connor’s drawing was any indication to go by. Evan’s head was thrown back, eyes shut, and Connor’s pencil strokes had captured the delight in the action perfectly.

“Why’d- why me?” Evan asked, closing the sketchbook carefully and handing it back to Connor. “Of all the people you could draw- why me?”

Connor shrugged again. “The first time, you were just… there. I was bored, and you were right in front of me, so I figured… why not?”

Evan nodded. That he could get.

“Then I tried to draw someone else. I think it was Alana, or Jared,” Connor continued. “But I never finished the drawings. They weren’t… they were harder to draw. Different. But you- your face was memorable. The way you smile, the way your eyebrows kind of knit when you concentrate, when you laugh, and you get that shine in your eye…”

Connor sighed, glancing down at the sketchbook. “Damnit, Evan. I’ll cut to the chase.”

The taller boy leaned back, glancing up at the sky- it was still bright, the sun shining on his face and turning his pale skin slightly golden in the light. Eyes trained above him, Connor said, “I like you.”

Evan’s heart pounded, and his mind started racing.  _ “Like’ him- that could mean a lot of things. He could like being my friend. He could mean like in a solely platonic way. He could mean he likes my guitar.  _ There was no way that Connor Murphy, the boy with a rueful smile and an artist’s soul, liked Evan in the way he liked him. “Oh- um, I like you too-”

Connor snorted, smiling slightly. “Hansen, I mean I  _ like _ you.”

Evan gulped, not knowing how to reply. Connor noticed, and his smile faltered. But he pressed on. “I- I like how you smile when you don’t think anybody’s watching. I like how you stammer when you get nervous. I like how you sing, and how you talk. I like  _ you _ , Evan Hansen. And I- I’m sure you don’t feel the same way, because ‘ha, who’d like the school shooter’, bu- but I just couldn’t actually hide it any longer. So, um, you can push me away in disgust now. I don’t even know if you’re- if you’re bi, or gay, or pan, or whatever, so-”

“I’m bi,” Evan blurted. It was definitely not the first priority for him to answer in the long list of shocking things Connor had just rambled on about, but at the moment, it was the only thing he had a reply to.

Connor paused, and nodded. “Cool.”

“And,” Evan continued, before the other could say anything and before he could run out of courage, “I, um, I like you. Too. Uh, like you as in- as in,  _ like _ you. The- the song I sang was, um, dedicated to you. And based off of you. And, uh, basically  _ for _ you.”

The taller boy stared at him. “Well, I- I kind of guessed that. The song, I mean. Which other plant-drawing long-haired moron do you know, right?”

Evan laughed. “Ye- yeah.”

“But- did you mean that? You- you like me?” Connor continued to avert his gaze.

“I- yes,” Evan said lamely.  _ I literally  _ sang _ ‘I love you’ to you, idiot. _

The other bit his lip, quiet for a good five seconds. “Well,” he finally said. “I must admit, I didn’t expect to get this far.”

“This- this far?”

“I expected to have to run as soon as I told you I liked you.”

“Ah.”

Connor paused. “How- how long have you… um.”

“Li- liked you for?” Evan finished for him.

He nodded.

“Uh... I’m not sure, actually. I think it might’ve been pride month. Or- or when I first saw you laugh. Or when you showed me your d- drawings for the first time, the plants,” Evan mumbled. “I’m not- I’m not sure when I knew, exactly.”

Connor quirked a small smile. “I know when I knew,” he offered, brushing a loose strand of hair behind his ear. He should really get a haircut.

“Re- really?” Evan asked. He didn’t remember anything he did that was worth remembering, much less anything worth developing a crush over. “W- what was it?”

“After our first interaction-” Evan winced at the words, the memory of Connor pushing him to the ground in anger popping up in his mind, “- in the computer lab, where we talked for what was technically the first time, I tried to forget it. I tried to, um, forget the boy with the cast and a stuttering soft voice, but I really fucking couldn’t.”

“You signed my cast,” Evan teased. “The only person to, actually.” He’d gotten it off before he and Jared had actually gotten closer, so Connor’s signature had been the only on it for a long, long time.

“Yeah, that too,” Connor muttered, rubbing a hand over his face. “And I just  _ couldn’t _ get you out of my head. And damn, Hansen, it was driving me insane. Why was I thinking of a socially awkward kid with a broken arm so much? Even Zoe thought I was weird, acting spacey and shit.”

Evan hid his cringe- at that time, he probably still had a crush on Connor’s younger sister.

“So I swore to myself- I’d try to talk to you. To the boy who, uh, was alone. Outcast, kind of like me. And I guess I did,” Connor said, a small laugh slipping out. “Because look where we are now.”

“Look where we are now,” Evan agreed.

They sat in silence for a while.

“The sun’s nice today,” Evan observed after a minute, in lack of better things to say.

“All I see is light,” Connor said, squinting. “But I guess it’s alright.”

“I- Intentional rhyme?” Evan raised a teasing eyebrow. “Really capturing the heart of a songwriter here, Con.”

“I’m glad,” Connor said. “I’ve been trying to do that for, oh, give or take three months.”

Evan blinked-  _ three months _ ? Connor had been trying to ask him out for  _ three months? _

The taller boy read his expression. “Yeah, you were pretty oblivious,” he said. “Jared was pretty much dying of second-hand humiliation the whole way.”

Evan buried his face in his hands.  _ God. _ “ _ Jared _ knew about this?”

“I made him promise not to tell you, if that helps.”

“And he  _ kept  _ it?”

“Life’s full of surprises.”

Evan groaned one last time, and lifted his head to glance at Connor. “S- so… are we supposed to ask each other out now?”

Connor laughed. “I’m pretty sure that’s how it goes, yes.”

They stared at each other, and after a while, Evan snorted. “We’re terrible at this.”

“We really are,” Connor muttered, and laughed. “Evan Hansen, will you go out with me?”

Evan quirked a small smile. “Like on a d- date?”

“Or,” the other said slowly, “if you’d prefer, we can skip the date.”

“And do what, exactly?” the blond asked, hoping Connor couldn’t hear his heart racing at fifty miles of gay distress per hour.

Connor grinned, and Evan couldn’t help but smile back. “Want to head on over to find our good friend Jared and declare that we’re a thing now?”

Evan’s heart pounded-  _ him _ and  _ Connor Murphy _ , an actual couple; it seemed too good to be true. As casually as he could make it, he said, “Uh, I- I’d be all for it, but you might want to have the ambulance on speed dial. Te- ten bucks says Jare passes out from excitement.”

Connor laughed, standing up. He extended a hand to help Evan up, and the other boy, accepted, letting him get pulled up. “Let’s go, Ev.”

\-----

“Iced lattes for Ethan?”

Evan cringed inwardly but got up from where he was sitting, making his way over to the counter and collecting his drinks. He didn’t know what was so hard about understanding and spelling the word ‘Evan’, but at least this place was cheaper than Starbucks.

He did his best to balance three cups in his limited two hands, grabbing a few straws while at it, and headed back to where Connor and Jared were currently seated. “N- next time, I’m using one of your names,” he said as he sat down.

“Mine doesn’t go over too well either,” Jared assured him. “Last time, they called out ‘Joseph’. Once, they called me John. Do I  _ look _ like a selection of holy Bible characters to you?”

“Connor, then,” Evan decided. “You can’t go wrong with ‘Connor’.”

“Depends. Are they spelling it with an ‘e’ or an ‘o’?” Connor grabbed one of the drinks and stuck a straw in it, gulping down a huge mouthful.

“Connie-O,” Jared muttered, and Evan snorted, taking a sip of his own coffee.

“I must say, I never expected to see Jared at a place like this,” Connor said, gesturing vaguely at their surroundings with his coffee in hand. “Then again, some might say the same of me.”

“Three bros, sitting at a coffee shop, no feet apart ‘cause they’re all gay,” Jared joked, and they cracked up, with a quiet comment of ‘I’m bi, actually’ from Evan.

Jared took the lid off his drink and downed half the cup in one go. Evan supposed he needed  _ something _ to fuel all that sarcasm. “So, anyway, how’s it going with you two? Are you at the dating stage, the making out in janitor closets stage, the fucking stage, or-“

“Jared!” Evan scolded, although he bit back a laugh.

“We don’t kiss and tell, Kleinman,” Connor said with an exaggerated wink.

That wasn’t entirely a lie. It’d been three days since the variety show- three days since Connor and Evan had finally told each other how they felt. They’d went on a few dates, but neither had actually made a move on the other. Not exactly shocking, considering that both of them had anxiety.

But damn if Jared wasn’t getting antsy with the tension.

“But  _ did _ you kiss?” Jared pressed on. “That’s the question.”

“None of your bu-“

Evan cut Connor off before things escalated. “No. We haven’t kissed yet.”

Jared threw his hands up. “The cutest school couple, and you  _ haven’t kissed?” _

“’Cutest school couple’?” Connor raised an eyebrow. “Kleinman, blink twice if you’re being held hostage.”

“I’m serious! Alana and Zoe’s been sneaking pictures of you guys and posting them on Instagram with the tag ‘treebros’- which was actually  _ not _ my fault for once, they came up with the idea on their own- and they’re getting a ton of likes from the student body.” Jared gulped down some more coffee.

Evan stared at Jared, then at Connor. Pictures of them? Being posted publicly? Getting  _ likes?  _ “Well,” he finally said. “Guess our school isn’t as homophobic as it seems.”

Connor laughed. “No, guess not.”

Jared stood up and stretched. “As fun as it is to unofficially third-wheel with you guys, I gotta run. My friend Michael needs me to help him install a new video-game console, so the tech consigliere’s got to go.”

He grabbed his drink and headed for the door, with a final call of “Catch you gays later” before leaving.

For a minute, Evan and Connor sat there in silence, not really knowing what to do with themselves. Then the latter cleared his throat, setting his coffee down. “Ev, can we talk?”

_ Never a good start to any sentence your significant other has to say _ . Evan copied his movement, pushing his latte closer to the center of the table, ignoring his suddenly increased heart rate. “Y- yeah, sure.”

“I- It’s nothing bad,” Connor said hastily, seeing the look on Evan’s face. “I- I was just wondering if, um, ifyou’dwanttobemyboyfriend.”

He said the last part in a complete rush, making it hard to understand for the other boy. He blinked. “Um- what?”

Connor bit his lip, hesitating. “I was wondering if you’d want to be my boyfriend,” he repeated- still at a fast speed but at least coherent this time.

Evan stared at him, not knowing if he heard him correctly. The other shifted uneasily, eyebrows furrowing in worry. “B- but you don’t have to if you don’t want to, I- I was just- I’m not- It’s okay if you-“

Before he lost his nerve, Evan leaned over and- mentally thanking the small size of the table- pressed his lips against Connor’s, kissing him lightly, before sitting back, his heart racing.  _ Why did I do that oh god WHY did I do that- _

It was Connor’s turn to stare at him, mouth a bit open. Evan started to stammer something, but Connor cut him off with a small grin and a, “Was that a yes?”

Evan smiled sheepishly back. Jared was going to get a  _ kick _ out of this.

“Obviously.”

 

**Author's Note:**

> how'd you like it? comments and constructive criticism are always appreciated!  
> requests are open! either comment something or head over to @gaymodeactivated on tumblr :D
> 
> hope you have a nice one fellas


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